Food of Thought: What Will I Eat Tomorrow?

I have been thinking but its kind of crazy how much I DON'T miss being at home. I feel like this is the place that I need to be, and for the first time in a long time I feel like I am excelling, and not only that, I am appreciated here. I feel needed, and at the same time, I get to go on my own adventures and see the world. I have been truly blessed with this opportunity.

I let this last year get to me a lot more than it should have in a lot of different ways, and Japan is kind of a blessing because camp is showing me all the things that I am really good at. I am having fun again, and not feeling tied down or inferior. We had our Program Coordinator come visit the other day and she said I was doing a good job and that meant so much to me, just because it lets me know that I am actually doing what I should be doing.

I know that I have left a lot of things behind in monmouth, and in a way, my life there has been put on hold, but I am gaining some perspective on what I have left. Things that seemed important are not so important anymore, and events that I thought were super traumatic don't seem that way anymore. In short, I am learning to look back, reflect and realize that not everything is as it seems up close. I wish I had discovered camp adventure a long time ago, and I wish this wasn't the only year that I could do it, but there are other things out there for me. I know what I want now. I want to teach English in a different country. I want to go see places and meet people that I have never experienced before. I want to know what this world is made of, and what the people in it are like. Speaking the language is just half the battle, the other half is just having the courage to laugh at yourself and know that everything is going to turn out as it should. life isn't worth stressing over. Instead of wishing that it went a different way, I would rather take what comes and make good of it. Will I always get my way...absolutely not: experience has taught me that. But also, not getting my way has taught me so much about life.

I've realized that another big passion in my life is the Dougy Center. I was talking about that on the train today with Lindsey and Brittany and it just lit up my day remembering all the good times that I had there and all the magic I witnessed and was a part of. I want to start more groups like that in places in the world where that support might not exist. I want to bring that support and togetherness to places that desperately need it.

I have so much that I want to do, and coming to Japan is helping me realize what I want to do. Of course I miss my family and my friends and everything, but this is my time, and this is my life, and I want to do it all, have it all, be it all, and give it all to others.